Introduction and Terms
So there are tons of books and professional aid to help people overcome various additions. This is because addition is a horrible and life-crushing thing, as well as a prevalent part of our world today.
This is a paraphrase of a definition of addiction given by Psychology Today: Addiction is a condition that comes about when somebody takes or does something pleasurable; and that act/substance becomes compulsive, and interferes with their daily lives in a negative way.
Let's clear up some confusion with terminology. A part of most substance addictions is something called tolerance. Tolerance, when used in this context, means that the body is adapting to the substance, and more of the substance is needed for the same effect. Tolerance is not addiction. Some people need medicine. Some people need pain medicine. Those people usually undergo some level of tolerance. However, their medicine is doing good for them, so it isn't an addiction. A friend of mine in law enforcement pointed out that a lot of people get shamed by thoughtless individuals for just taking their medicine. So don't throw around the term addiction.
However, most of what people incorrectly term addition is not tolerance either, it's compulsion. Compulsion is when you are drawn to something and can't (or feel like you can't) stop. Compulsion is not addiction, it is however the chief engine of the human psyche that fuels addiction. Compulsion is the "I can't stop" feeling. Addiction happens when the "I can't stop" interferes with your life in a significant, negative way.
So why the overview of psych jargon? Because there is a lot of cultural and emotional baggage associated with the word "addiction." If someone is playing too many cute games on their smart phone, using a word that in their mind compares them to a druggy or alcoholic isn't starting things off on the right foot. Especially if it isn't damaging to their daily life, and therefore not technically addiction anyway.
Now for Compulsion
With that start, let me clarify that I am not going to talk about formal addiction, substance abuse, or OCD. However, if you have any of these things, realize that you are not alone, and go get some help. We are all broken people. Don't let shame stand in your way.
So let's talk about compulsion. I am going to assume we are (1) talking about compulsion from a Christian perspective, and (2) someone with a condition that results in extremely high levels of compulsion is getting professional help, not just taking my advice.
Even though compulsion is not the same thing as addiction, it is potentially extremely dangerous and something we as believers should avoid if at all possible. A brother or sister in Christ can safely say he or she isn't technically "addicted" to that computer game they can't stop playing as long as it isn't destroying their grades, job, or social life. Similarly consuming lattes isn't an addiction until it starts eroding your finances and/or teeth. However, if there is some invisible cord pulling you to repeat an action for the sake of pleasure—that’s not good.
A Look at Ephesians
Ephesians 5:1-20
Paul has laid down a marvelous doctrinal foundation in the first three chapters, not just for how we got saved once upon a time, but why and how we continue in good works. In chapter 5 he is continuing to look at some of the specifics of those good works. When reading passages from the latter half of Ephesians, the context of the first half must never be forgotten. Trying to keep rules without a deep experiential understanding of the gospel is like trying to build a log cabin without tools. You won't get too far gnawing on those trees. So if it helps, read all of Ephesians up through 5:20, think about how God helps us, through grace, do good works, and what that means for you.
This is a great passage, especially verses 1-2, which sets the tone and purpose. However, for the sake of this discussion, we are interested in two things. First, as Paul lists the things we should, through the grace and in the love of God, shed from our lives at all cost, we find "covetousness" right away.
Covetousness, according to Webster, is a very strong desire for something you don’t have. The Greek word here conveys a much more desperate and grasping desire. It is a drive to gain more at any cost. Covetousness is basically an unhealthy compulsion. As Christians, this is not supposed to categorize us.
Secondly, Paul says something very interesting in verses 15-18. In light of the gospel, make conscious use of your time (v. 15-16). Don't waste your time on the distracting tinsel of the world. Be wise, and focus on God (v. 17). Then all of this is compared to addictive behavior—don't be controlled by alcohol, be controlled by the Holy Spirit (v. 18).
Be wise with your time. Just because in our modern, convenience-littered lives we can survive a time soak, doesn’t mean it's good. I’m not saying to run your life on a high-stress calendar. In fact, don’t, because (1) God may have a plan for you that isn’t in your calendar, (2) you’re not in much control anyway (sorry), and (3) stress is the primary contributor to addictions and micromanaging your time can be stressful. What I am saying is that while a little free time is healthy, time is the currency of life, and if you don't use it in a wise and conscious way, it will slip away.
Breaking Free of Compulsion
We talked about why compulsion is a problem, now let's look at some solutions. Let me say up front that none of this is a quick fix to the problem. Breaking compulsion is difficult and often long process. It has to do with the way we think, and that is not easily changed.
Community
In Ephesians 4:1-16 we see that God's plan, both in the gospel and in the establishment and organization of the church, is working together to make us "mature" (v. 13), specifically this means we are not tossed around by the waves of life, chasing after all the shiny things and ideas, drawn into schemes.
This Christian Community is also referenced right after 5:18. The flow of thought catches us a bit off guard. Don't be controlled by alcohol. Instead be controlled by the Holy Spirit. Sing Christian songs together and to each other. Be thankful. Serve and respect one another.
Our churches need to be communities of understanding believers who are compassionate and ready to help out people who are hurting. A group of people who are looking to God together, rejoicing, celebrating, being openly thankful, and helping one another find their fulfillment in God. Worship has to be real.
This kind of church is incredibly helpful to those seeking to break free of the bonds of the materialistic world around us, and desire God above other things.
Think Different
We talked about wise use of time above, but why is Paul bringing this up in the context of the gospel, and how can that help us?
Specifically in context, we have to manage our time in order to focus on God, understand his gospel, and live it out. The term "walk" in these verses refers to the way we think and act and go about our lives. In the previous chapter, Paul warned the Christians that they would have to "walk" in a way that was different from the culture around them (Ephesians 4:17-24).
This concept of walking here is not primarily an external one. We don't have to look different than the world, we have to think differently and function differently. Look at that passage in chapter 4. In verse 18 the lost are alienated in their thinking from God. In other words, they do not believe the truth, and do not have a relationship with God. In verse 19 we see this leads to all kinds of unstable and unhealthy thinking, note that they are given up to, and seemingly controlled by, their ungodly desires. What we are seeing here is compulsion and addition.
Godless thinking leads to godless living. We must cultivate a positive and deep relationship with God. How? Well, the singing and thankfulness the church should be providing is a good start. Saturate yourself in the Scriptures and think about God. As we look to God, he works on us (2 Corinthians 3:17-18). It's all about that relationship. When we desire God, he helps us desire harmful or vain things less.
Let Go
There comes a point that you must sacrifice that thing that you may love and hate—that compulsive desire that is holding you back from loving God with your whole self. This can be particularly difficult if the thing in question is not usually classified as a "sin." Hebrews 12:1 talks about laying aside those things that slow us down. We are indeed bearing our own cross as we follow Christ. Yet all those precious things laid aside for Jesus' sake will result in a closer relationship with our dear savior. We have not suffered in vain.
As a side note on letting compulsions or addictions go, because of the way our brain works (dopamine receptors, desensitization, and the like), desires as well as the ability for a specific stimuli to fulfill those desires fluctuates. This means you can "quit" quite easily at times, only to have that compulsion come back shortly thereafter. However, if a person can stay away from something for long enough, the compulsion will fade.
Fill the Void
The Bible recognizes how we work as humans. It is incredibly difficult to simply give something up. We don't really work that way. We either go back to it, or fill that void some other way. We need to replace things in our lives, not simply drop them. Going back to Ephesians 4, and look at verses 21-32. Note how in 25-32, the things a Christian is called to give up, are replaced by a comparable, positive thing.
We can't continue in a lonely life trying desperately to NOT do things. We need to DO positive things.
These are not people emptying their lives and living empty lives of self-deprivation. These are people being filled with the joy of the Lord, and the habits and disciplines that accompany that, as they lay aside those harmful desires. If we desire God, Ephesians 4:25-32 is systematically replacing an inferior desire for a superior one.
This is very much like Jesus' analogy of living water he gave to the Samaritan woman. Jesus could give her a sense of satisfaction that didn’t tie her down to destructive worldly compulsions. The life of the woman in question was falling apart, seen primarily though relationship difficulties. Yet Christ doesn’t just tell her to abandon all the lusts and desires that had destroyed her; he tells her that he has something better for her.
That is what all Christians struggling with compulsion must come to realize—Jesus is superior, and can satisfy us.
Closing
I hope this helps. If you are struggling with compulsion hold on to hope, and don't go it alone. For those who know people struggling, be kind and patient with them.
Under Grace,
John Fritz
John Fritz is the Volunteer Coordinator for Thoughtful Life Ministries and the primary author of the Thoughtful Life Journal, which is published weekly from March through September. The purpose of this blog is to challenge and encourage those who have a desire to cultivate a more meaningful walk with Christ. Visit our Homepage to learn more about the ministry and our annual two-week summer Discipleship Program for teens and young adults.